March 17, 2002 "I would kill or die for a 7-layer burrito"

Hola, amigos. Still not a lot of Internet time for me on this Island That Time Forgot, so you all have to suffer through another group email.

First, more answers to Frequently Asked Questions:

1. I have no idea why the guy was dragging a dead dog behind his bicycle, he just was, ok? Rest assured that it was an isolated incident and not a common practice here, as far as I know.

2. No gastrointestinal problems of any kind so far. But one guy in my group found out last week that he has worms. So you never know.

3. I myself do not bathe in a drainage ditch as a rule. There's a drain in the floor of our bathroom and I just dump cold water over myself from a bucket. It's better than coffee to wake you up in the morning.

Speaking of worms, a few days ago while I was watching El Fuerzo Del Deseo, the Dominican soap opera that Dona Roma has gotten me hooked on, I saw a locally-produced commercial for an over-the-counter de-worming medicine. I was a little confused because the commercial showed a bunch of people scratching their butts and I wasn't sure what the connection was, so I consulted my Peace Corps Medical Handbook. Turns out there are several types of parasitic worms here that live in the colon and crawl out of their victim's, er... rectum at night to lay eggs, which apparently causes a lot of itching. What's most disturbing is that this is a common enough problem in the DR that the people who make the de-worming pills can afford to run television commercials. Also disturbing is the fact that when the picture goes out on the televisions here, they don't call it the "Ant Races." They call it the "Ant Parade." Good God, what kind of a country is this?

Last week I went to a little pueblo called Duverge near Haiti to help out at a medical mission run by the US army to help translate for the patients and the American doctors. I also helped the Red Cross people hand out vitamins and toothbrushes. I talked to one old man with a broken arm who hadn't been able to see a doctor for a month, and an old lady who told me God was going to bless me with a golden throne in heaven for helping her. I'm pretty sure a toothbrush and some Flintstones chewables don't cancel out all my past transgressions, but she seemed pretty sure she knew what she was talking about. Maybe I should ask Sister Ofelia about this. Or one of the Mormons. The campo of the DR is lousy with Mormons. The army guys gave us MREs (Meals, Ready to Eat) to take home with us. Turns out the army eats a lot better than the Peace Corps. Maybe I joined the wrong group.

Next week I'm leaving Santo Domingo for five weeks of CBT (Country-Based Training) in a pueblo called Juan de Herrera, right in the middle of the jungle. It's supposed to be really beautiful, and really rural. Wow, I guess that means I might have to go without running water or electricity for a while. I wonder what that will be like... I'm going to miss living with Dona Roma, though. I even got her to make me Mac-n-Cheese a couple of times.

We've already lost one member of our training group who had a bad reaction to the malaria medication and had to be sent home. They say we'll probably lose a few more before we even swear in as Volunteers in April. But really, so far things haven't been so bad down here. I think that's partly because I'm still in a pretty urban area and I still have plenty of Americans to hang around with. That's all going to change once I finish training and I may be on the next plane home. Yesterday I sneaked into town with some other trainees because we found out there was a Pizza Hut in Santo Domingo. We each blew about a week's pay on pizza and beer, but I'd have paid twice as much for a little crappy American fast food without any rice or beans in it.

Okay, one last thing. It turns out that I can have packages sent to me and I will only have to pay customs fees on them if they contain some form of contraband. Unfortunately, no one could tell me exactly what qualifies as contraband here, but I think socks, comic books, candy, mix tapes, pre-sweetened kool-aid packets, pictures, paperbacks (please, send paperbacks!) and small items like that are fine. Smaller packages are less likely to be searched, but all mail to PC volunteers is screened for anthrax three times before we get it, so it takes about three weeks or so. Keep in touch ok?