September 24, 2002 "Mix Tape Contest winner revealed!"

So, Restauracion and I just spent the last three weeks with no Internet connection. Meaning no contact whatsoever with the outside world. But that's okay; I'm a Peace Corps volunteer, and I'm used to living without modern luxuries. I toughed it out just fine. I found that curling up in a ball in front of the server quietly sobbing "please, please, please..." over and over really helped the days pass quickly.

The good news is it seems to have worked because the connection suddenly came back up this morning for no apparent reason and now everyone thinks that on top of being the town's computer genius who actually knows how to operate a scanner and unjam a printer, I also have strange voodoo powers.

I was in Santiago for yet another meeting with the Dominican Secretary of Education a few weeks ago and I heard the best description of what it's like to be a Peace Corps volunteer yet from a friend who's also in the IT program: "It's sort of like putting on a big pink bunny suit and hopping down the street with a sign around your neck that says, 'HI! I'm here to HELP YOU!'"

Here's a couple of other stories I heard that week from volunteers that I think are worth sharing since I don't have much new to talk about: My friend Rick, the volunteer in Bayaguana, told me that there's a guy in his community who goes by the nickname of "Nazi." He decided to run for public office, but when he was having his campaign posters printed he wanted to use his nickname, since nobody in town would have known him by his real name. Someone at the printers' had the sense to talk him into at least using a different spelling, to avoid offending any Dominicans, who as far as I've been able to tell are pretty much impossible to offend anyway. So he had a few thousand posters printed up that said: "Vota por tu amigo, NACY." When Rick asked someone how the guy had come by the nickname "Nazi" in the first place, the answer he got was (translated literally) "Well, he was an impetuous youth."

Another volunteer told us about his neighbor buying a new burro and tying it up between their houses. Apparently the burro was having some digestive problems because it kept braying all night and, as the vol put it, loudly "breaking wind." When he mentioned it to his neighbor the next day, the neighbor looked really angry, spit on the ground and said "Si, mi burro es SIN VERGUENZA (My donkey is without shame)" I don't know, I thought it was pretty funny. And it's become our new thing to say whenever somebody farts.

Speaking of funny, I had a rare meeting with the Cinnamon Cowboy last weekend. I should mention that as the District Director of the Dominican Secretary of Education, he's one of the richest people in Restauracion and owns a TV set, a truck and not one but two refrigerators. As a volunteer, I live in the poorest part of town, walk everywhere, and keep my food in a tin box to keep the mice out. Not that I'm complaining. The first and only time the Cowboy came to my house he wouldn't even stay long enough to sit down and I could tell he didn't really approve, especially since I had moved out of his relatively plush house in such a hurry to live in a little concrete box with a leaky tin roof. So we met to talk about adding some more classes to my schedule, and when everyone else was gone, he pulled me aside and said, "Daniel, we're charging people to attend these classes, aren't we?" We are, about ten pesos a week, which is about 50 cents in the US, and the money goes to keep the Center running. He said, "We've been talking, and we think you should keep half of that money every week. You know, to help you... buy food." I told him I wasn't allowed to accept money for my work. Then I went home and had a ketchup sandwich for dinner and did some hard thinking.

***SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT!***
Thanks to five volunteers, two days in Restauracion, and a gallon or so of Dominican rum, there's finally a winner for the mix tape contest. Thanks to everyone who took the time to make and send one or more mix tapes: Melissa Ponthieux (who gets the Achievement award for sending four, as well as the Best Title award for "Harina Rock"), December Wolf, Robert Dotson, Josh Mayer (Josh, nice work except that Dr. Seuss/Winnie the Pooh stuff was WAY too long), everyone in the Blue Room, Steve Gentile, Margaret Leming, Travis Thayer, Ron Hotstream, whoever made me the Bob Dylan tape, and Neil Landry. You've done your part to bring a little sunshine into the lives of some long-suffering volunteers. I hope I'm not forgetting anyone, but if I did it's probably because your tape was lame, or maybe I haven't gotten it yet. We enjoyed listening to all of the entries, and especially enjoyed the confused reactions from visiting Dominicans when they discovered for the first time that there are more than two kinds of music out there in the world. But in the end there could only be one winner, and surprisingly the vote was unanimous for a dark horse candidate named Mr. Doug Whyte. Praise for the tape ranged from "it rocks" to offers to bear Doug Whyte's children. Doug, your tape kicks ass but unfortunately I don't know who you are and I've lost your return address. If anyone knows where Doug is, please make sure this message gets forwarded to him so he can claim his prize. There was also one other tape that we all thought was good enough to create a second prize category for, so Mr. Robert Dotson, your Che Guevara motorcycle sticker will be in the mail as soon as I pick it up at the Dominican Communist Party HQ in the capital.

Well... it seems like after so much time I should have more to talk about. I did get to have lunch sitting on the dirt floor with a Haitian family in an actual mud hut a few weeks ago, so that was kind of cool. Except I spent the next few days worrying about germs and parasites because they only had one bowl and one spoon and we just kind of passed it around.

I also made friends with a Haitian lady in town who sells beans in the market on Thursdays. I started speaking Kreyol to her and I thought she was actually going to pee on herself laughing. Her name is Franzia, just like the wine that comes in the box, and sometimes she brings me avocados and peanuts that she roasts at her house just so she can hear me mangle her language.

What else... I messed up my feet pretty bad playing basketball with no shoes on, but now I've got some pretty nice callouses going.

I had a volunteer trainee from the new group staying in my house for a few days so she could benefit from my months of experience. So I'm not a freshman anymore, and all the Donas in town were thrilled that I had a mujer staying with me because "it's just not right for him to live in that house all alone." She was a pretty good cook, too.

I showed one of the women who works here with me how to use the digital camera by taking a picture of her and then showing it to her on the computer screen and the first thing she said was, "can you make me look white?" So I blacked out some of her teeth and drew a moustache on her instead. I don't really like her much.

I've learned to make some really excellent black bean burgers from scratch, although my neighbors that I've shared them with aren't really big fans yet. Chrisie and Josh and I have also been making some mean tortillas, which for some reason nobody has even heard of here.

Lately Josh has developed a kind of strange obsession with making things out of bamboo. So far he's made a picture frame, planters, beer koozies, a lamp, a pencil holder, a fence around his house, rain gutters, and he just made me a shower caddy. I'm still waiting for the bicycle-powered coconut radio so we can all get rescued from this wacky island.

Oh yeah, and a few days ago a complete stranger asked Chrisie if he could bring his 6-year-old daughter over to her house to live with her because he didn't have any money.

So things here have pretty much settled into a predictable routine. So our Internet connection has held up for nearly four hours now. This is an encouraging sign. Maybe I'll be able to respond to some emails this week.

Cuidanse, Dave